Vegetarian Trend (-____-)

I am about to rant at this topic. It has come up one to many times in my life and loooooord have mercy, if I have to meet one more cool ass 'vegetarian' I am about to throw all my toys out of my cot!

So here is the deal, I have been vegetarian, well more specifically pescaterian http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pescetarianism (aka Fisherterian - I  only eat fish and vegetables, no meat) for about 6 years now. Yes this is not a lifetime but it is longer than you new found hipsters who all of a sudden are vegetarian. And are quick on the uptake to tell me about being vegetarian and how awesome you are at being vegetaria by having one vegetarian meal a day. Big freaking deal, you know what??? I DONT CARE.

Ima keep it soooooo reaaaal for yall :
I am pescaterian. I did not watch a sad or traumatic documentary about the slaughtering of animals. I do not like the taste of meat. I love leather. I didnt become vegetarian in hopes to lose weight. I am a fat vegetarian. OK.

Now for all you blerrie hipsters, its time for Aunty to school you.

• Being vegetarian does not mean you  are guaranteed to lose weight, it doesn't even mean you only eat vegetables. You can eat chocolate, cake, oil, butter, cream, sugar, carbs, sweets, pasta. You see where I'm going with this, you still have to have a  balanced  meal consisting out of a source of protein and healthy carbs in vegetables. 
• If you feel soooooo fucking sympathetic for the slaughtered animals, then you have no idea how sorry i feel for your leather shoes,jacket and vintage leather sling bag. Coz yes bitch those animals died too. So before you come to me all excited that you too are now vegetarian, remember to leave your animals behind thanks. *rolls eyes*
• Having only vegetarian meals for a week because (well lets keep it real here) you couldn't afford meat does not make you a vegetarian. Then again comes the weekend and there is a braai, not surprisingly to me, you will be the first one to bite into the meat. Therefore you dont get a high 5 when you order a veg meal with me. Fall back please.  

To all you trendy vegeterains doing it for all the wrong reasons. I SEE YOU and all I say can is: