Who determines my success..........

Success:
Noun.
1. The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of ones goals.
2. The attainment of wealth, position, honors or the like.

Hmmmm well would you look at that. To be an actress has always been a dream of mine, ever since I did drama back in high school where I was blown away by being in character. I was amazed by great performers dominilty on stage. I guess I found stage actors more relatable than film actors(which was usually be American Actors). I am a lover of live music, theatre ect. So being an actor on stage and encapsulating audiences right infront of me into a world the same way I have been is all I want to do. However in South Africa the focus on theatre acting is respected as most theatre performaces are deeply rooted in our cultural history,  theatre was/is used as an educational tool to help move forward a country overcoming apartheid. However the only way to make money or have a life by being an actor in SA is difficult and since the world/industry is moving towards Film and TV as the educational and entertaining medium, theater is struggling to maintain a audience to help sustain an actors livelihood. To be a theatre actor you have to do it for the love of it, because the money is not enough to sustain a living. Yet that is the beauty of acting, and being a true artist/actor, you make those sacrifices because you love to act, you love to perform, money and fame becomes bonuses not goals or a necessity. And I could be wrong but out here I feel like you can still live a decent life here as a working actress in theater. Even working  as an extra you could live a fairly decent life considering that you work often enough.

I found it pretty interesting that everywhere I go, everyone is telling me who determines my success, a producer, the casting director, the agent.  But in all honestly, I determine my own success. What I mean by this is that I know that there are tricks and trades to getting into the industry and making it, but in all honestly, once you are able to show your work that is all that matters. There are sooo many acting schools in LA, and they all about training. Well I guess if Stanislavsky was still alive he would be proud because he sure has a huge following. I am all for the system but out here actors live by it as if it is a mathematical equation to success. The beauty of being an artist is the freedom of being able to just be. However out here, anyone that decides that they want to be an actor can go through some training and boom is an actor. The problem we end up having is a bunch of confused people who don’t know what they want from life, giving a bad name to the art of acting. The techniques make them feel like being an actor is achievable. Perhaps I am being harsh here, but I am old school in believing that actors are people who have natural talent for acting and that acting is their passion. 

What I'm trying to say is, things aren’t going to be handed to you (and this is a general note in life). There is no easy way in or out, you have to go out and put the work in, to get the work out. Then agents, producers and who ever else will look up and listen to you and will give you an opportunity. Its that simple. The problem now is the level of fakeness you end up showing to the industry folks, because everyone gives you advice and tells you who to impress the 'important' people……. What ends up happening is that everyone becomes so fake with everyone else. Its TOO much.There is this constant pressure of having to impress people here in Hollywood, impressing a director, impressing a producer, impressing a casting director, impressing who ever else. I feel that having to impress all these people is unnecessary, if you are true to yourself and your capabilities, then you don’t need to worry about impressing people that could potentially give you a job. Adding that kind of pressure of impressing people takes away from who you are, and people want to see that. People can pick up on that. See I understand the value of all the filmmakers and those apart of the process in selection, but I do not believe that they are the only people to determine my success. The beauty of Hollywood is that as much as you work on your craft and go to auditions, one day you could be walking on down the street and be 'discovered', and I mean casted in some director/producers next movie. Just like that. That’s how crazy life is here, and yes I suppose it can happen anywhere in the world, but the opportunities out here are far larger. The thing is when you are approached randomly like is because people can see you in your natural and true state and that's what they want in their movies. 

The Hollywood Stank

So Ive been out here for a minute, and I know I haven’t blogged in while but this is something I wanted to blog for a while. So here it goes,

After 3 weeks of being in LA and everyday explaining my story of being from South Africa and leaving my life behind to pursue my acting career. Now I thought that my story wouldn’t be that interesting as EVERYONE out here is trying to be an actor, like everyone. There aint nothing special about being an actor out here. Somehow people still find it fascinating that I want to be an actor. I think because of they secretly want to be actress too with the constant hype of movies in LA I guess everyone wants there 15 sec of fame. And they envy those who are in it. I'll be real with ya'll at first I loved talking to about myself when I got here, it was great. People are interested in me, where im from and what my experience is like being in America. Then it got really tiring and boring repeating myself over and over and tt got to the point where I was like……. Wait, why does everybody care? And when I told people that im an aspiring actress. Note emphasis on ASPIRING actress, meaning I aspire to be one therefore I am not one yet. People hear actress…… and they start trippin. “Oh what have I seen you in?” “Have you been on anything?”  Well, nah Im an aspiring actress motherfucker, ASPIRING as in I am trying to make it as one

There is this stank in the air, this stank of everyone hustling, everyone trying to make it, trying to impress people, trying to sound more interesting. LA being the movie capital of the world, it ON everyday, and everyone everyday is ON that buzz. This stank in the air, annoys me as everyone is out here wanting FAME. As it is LA is film machine, producers films and everyone is apart of it. However, there are many people out here who live a normal life. But because of the constant film buzz in the air I feel like even the ordinary people who  live an average life, are somehow craving the life of an actress. Like they would jump at an opportunity to be famous and be an actor.

Funny thing is out here, the one piece of advice people warn me about is surprisingly not crime( coz oh no that’s a problem in Africa), crime is out here as in every other country in the world but out here its not that bad, like back home. What I keep getting warned about is people fronting that they producers, directors, actors. People out here will front that they all up in Hollywood when they actually just a hustler like the rest of us. It’s the saddest thing, folks are so desperate to be discovered by some big shot director/producer that they will spend all their time pretending to be someone they not just so that they can get there 15 sec of fame. But mostly for validation. Luckily I live by “REAL RECOGNIZE REAL”. And that’s how I spot the fake mofos out there. The problem is the desperation out here, everyone wants to make it BIG, whether they are filmmakers or actors, everyone one wants to make it. With todays generation of young folks, we all wana make it big and fast. They are sooo blind-sighted by pure desperation for fame that they don’t think about what is important for their career, they will take any opportunity at fame. This is what I find is so strange; people want the fame and money so bad that they are willing to give up their dignity, their pride, their lifestyle. This is the crazy thing that people out here are willing to give up so much for a life that they think will be happier. But what I've learnt is that happiness comes from within and it doesn’t matter what glamorous picture the media or the Kardashians paint life is soo much more.

Back home we would watch the E True Hollywood Story and see how the stars of today became stars, we see their struggle but most importantly we see how they got discovered. The industry is so real out here that people come out here and live their E True Hollywood Story, taking chances in hopes to be discovered. 

I never came here for the fame, I came her for the opportunities. Yes of course if I get fame, that’s great but its not what I desire, its not why I talk to people, or make friends or find people interesting.

I have become more private as I feel that people dig to find something interesting about me.

Everyone wants to know my business, it got to me. I don’t know why, and all of a sudden I have become more private, I don’t like people all up in my business. I am not about this life, this life of hustling to make it. I just want be a successful actress.