The Hollywood Stank

So Ive been out here for a minute, and I know I haven’t blogged in while but this is something I wanted to blog for a while. So here it goes,

After 3 weeks of being in LA and everyday explaining my story of being from South Africa and leaving my life behind to pursue my acting career. Now I thought that my story wouldn’t be that interesting as EVERYONE out here is trying to be an actor, like everyone. There aint nothing special about being an actor out here. Somehow people still find it fascinating that I want to be an actor. I think because of they secretly want to be actress too with the constant hype of movies in LA I guess everyone wants there 15 sec of fame. And they envy those who are in it. I'll be real with ya'll at first I loved talking to about myself when I got here, it was great. People are interested in me, where im from and what my experience is like being in America. Then it got really tiring and boring repeating myself over and over and tt got to the point where I was like……. Wait, why does everybody care? And when I told people that im an aspiring actress. Note emphasis on ASPIRING actress, meaning I aspire to be one therefore I am not one yet. People hear actress…… and they start trippin. “Oh what have I seen you in?” “Have you been on anything?”  Well, nah Im an aspiring actress motherfucker, ASPIRING as in I am trying to make it as one

There is this stank in the air, this stank of everyone hustling, everyone trying to make it, trying to impress people, trying to sound more interesting. LA being the movie capital of the world, it ON everyday, and everyone everyday is ON that buzz. This stank in the air, annoys me as everyone is out here wanting FAME. As it is LA is film machine, producers films and everyone is apart of it. However, there are many people out here who live a normal life. But because of the constant film buzz in the air I feel like even the ordinary people who  live an average life, are somehow craving the life of an actress. Like they would jump at an opportunity to be famous and be an actor.

Funny thing is out here, the one piece of advice people warn me about is surprisingly not crime( coz oh no that’s a problem in Africa), crime is out here as in every other country in the world but out here its not that bad, like back home. What I keep getting warned about is people fronting that they producers, directors, actors. People out here will front that they all up in Hollywood when they actually just a hustler like the rest of us. It’s the saddest thing, folks are so desperate to be discovered by some big shot director/producer that they will spend all their time pretending to be someone they not just so that they can get there 15 sec of fame. But mostly for validation. Luckily I live by “REAL RECOGNIZE REAL”. And that’s how I spot the fake mofos out there. The problem is the desperation out here, everyone wants to make it BIG, whether they are filmmakers or actors, everyone one wants to make it. With todays generation of young folks, we all wana make it big and fast. They are sooo blind-sighted by pure desperation for fame that they don’t think about what is important for their career, they will take any opportunity at fame. This is what I find is so strange; people want the fame and money so bad that they are willing to give up their dignity, their pride, their lifestyle. This is the crazy thing that people out here are willing to give up so much for a life that they think will be happier. But what I've learnt is that happiness comes from within and it doesn’t matter what glamorous picture the media or the Kardashians paint life is soo much more.

Back home we would watch the E True Hollywood Story and see how the stars of today became stars, we see their struggle but most importantly we see how they got discovered. The industry is so real out here that people come out here and live their E True Hollywood Story, taking chances in hopes to be discovered. 

I never came here for the fame, I came her for the opportunities. Yes of course if I get fame, that’s great but its not what I desire, its not why I talk to people, or make friends or find people interesting.

I have become more private as I feel that people dig to find something interesting about me.

Everyone wants to know my business, it got to me. I don’t know why, and all of a sudden I have become more private, I don’t like people all up in my business. I am not about this life, this life of hustling to make it. I just want be a successful actress.